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Not your run of the mill, typical dog farts.  She has the, everybody in the room… one by one, hold their hand over their mouth and shout “OH MY GOD!   WHAT IS THAT?” as they run out of the room…….farts.  Anyone who happens to remain in the room covers his or her nose with their shirt pulled up and over their nose and feverously fans the air while they shoot Lola a look of total disgust.  ~ And I know what they are thinking, “How can something so small and cute produce such a stinking, rotten stench?”  All the while she continues to stroll around the house as if she is blissfully unaware of the disgusting odor she is leaving behind.

I would classify Lola’s gas as, “zoo farts.”    ~ No further explanation should be needed.

It’s bad people…very, very bad.

Now, I am not sure if I could be classified as a dog fart expert, (urr, maybe I could) or if any such expert exists but what I can attest to is the fact that no matter how many rescue dogs have came thru my doors in the last 15 years, sick, healthy or otherwise…none have EVEN came close to the little Lola and her extremely FOUL flatulence.  I mean, were not talking normal doggie gas because I have given them some cooked liver or some hard boiled eggs than morning……..I mean it’s totally unsolicited, super duper, FOUL gas.  (My eyes water just thinking about it)  In all actuality it clears my sinuses and makes my throat feel as if it’s contracting; if she happens to be on my lap and lets one fly.

Her and this bad gas is rather ironic because the day I brought her home from the shelter I decided to read some resources on the Internet about Pugs.  (I had never owned or rescued a Pug…so I thought I would get versed in some Pug ~ dog-info)  The FIRST webpage I came to summed it up… rather perfectly……  They said, “If you think you want a Pug, be prepared because they whine, snort, snore, belch and fart, more than your typical dog.”  Errr, something to that effect. …….. as I rolled my eyes, laughed out loud and said to myself, “Ha, how bad could it REALLY be?”

I found out……Bad.  Very, very bad.

She snorts, snores and farts so much you would think that my temporary roommate is a cross between a farting troll and the little creepy naked guy from Lord of the Rings. 

                                  

She is without questions the foulest smelling little thing THIS side of the Mississippi!! 

 

So now I’m wondering when I put an ad for her in the paper to rehome her, along with her photo and all of her doggie stats, should it also come with a disclaimer? 

 

 

“Caution, combustible contents may be explosive and hazardous to your health.”Confused 

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. Ok Laura….don’t just tease us with a couple of posts. Uh…we missed you….we kinda need more. 🙂

  2. a face only a mother could love…gas masks at dawn….


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