Skip navigation

My trip to IU with Sierah was a long 3 hour drive on roads that were a sheet of ice.  When we got to 465 to go around Indy the highway was closed down to a screeching halt.  We were in stand still traffic for over an hour due to a traffic accident……so there we were and hundreds of other people……just waiting.  Finally a state trooper started turning people around and headed us down the highway the wrong way to an exit.  Luckily we were able to get right back on the highway directly past the accident……if I had only know how close we really were.  (my map was NOT in my car…..grrr)

 

None the less we got there right on time and Sierah didn’t miss any of her testing….the orientation for the parents was long, but I was looking forward to the walking part of the orientation where we were to tour campus.  THAT was left out due to the snow and extremely cold temperatures we received that day.  After two weeks of wonderful, balmy Spring weather we got dealt another hand of winter weather the day we were to go to IU. 

 

The beautiful blooming IU campus was now full of daffodils and tulips that were now lying dead on their sides.  It was a mild distraction from the extremely large, beautiful campus.  We were running late to begin with so we were unable to take pictures on the way in……on the way out Sierah was exhausted from an entire day of testing and lectures and I couldn’t even talk her into going to the campus gift store.  (Not sure about Sierah…….but I wanted an IU basketball sweatshirt)  We did manage to snap a few photos of the stadium on our way out…….guess I will have to take lots of photos the day we take her to school.  (I am sure she will be fine, but I will cry like a baby.)

 

During the orientation they told us the kids would be reading “The Tipping Point” for her critical thinking class.  I decided to get the book and read it myself before I gave it to Sierah to read.   I am glad I did…..as soon as I am finished I will get his second book and read it too.  I would suggest reading it.

 

Lastly after a week of soaring on a Mommy high of sorts from trying to solidify everything for my first born child to graduate high school and go off to college…..I was delivered a blow of unexpected news.

 

One of my other children is going to make me a Grandma. 

 

Interestingly enough I have always told all my friends, “I cant wait till I become a Grandma”….bla bla bla.  So maybe I burnt bread on myself…. but right now as the letters g r a n d m a get pushed down by my fingers on the keyboard I wish I had said……”I can wait about 5 more years to be a grandma.”

 

You are suppose to spoil your grandbabies and send them home….so what if everyone lives in one house….then what?……spoil them and send them to the next room?

 

It is hard to explain my reaction when I found out.  It was a weird mix of being disappointed, worried and excited.  Disappointed in my child for the obvious reasons, worried for her future and excited as the prospect of my first grandchild.

 

I am trying to handle this situation with as much grace as humanly possible.  It is too late to get mad, rant and rave.  I have my child to think of and her unborn child who needs a happy, non-stressed Mommy to carry her for the next 9 months.  It has already happened and I cant change it…….

 

I need to regroup and refocus and push ahead.

 

I bought a home pregnancy test to confirm it myself……those two blue lines came up like BAM.  Okay, okay….yes, she’s pregnant.  So I spent the next day at Boarders on my lunch hour buying her books to help her understand her pregnancy, on the phone making Doctor and WIC appointment and trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing…..Where would the baby crib go?.. How much does a car seat cost?….Who would baby sit the baby?….. She WILL finish school….How will I get all of the stuff the baby is going to need in such a short period of time?……WHAT THE HELL AM I ABOUT TO DO?………Lord help me.

 

Grace……remember grace……get it together Laura…..

 

I printed off everything I could find on the Internet on eating healthy during pregnancy, etc.  I talked to her about how she feels, if she’s scared, how the boy has reacted….told her to make sure she takes her vitamin everyday till we get the prenatal vitamins……She seems right now to be a pillar of strength.

 

Then I went to my room I let it all out and cried, no wept would be a better word……Got up, sucked it up…..remembered to breath……went to the bathroom to splash water on my face and stood there looking at the mirror thinking….”I’m going to be a Grandma…..I’m going to be a Grandma.”  Grandma…..for the first time in my life that word sounded weird…..it is now attached to me.

 

I called her Father in Florida and told him.  His thoughts were almost a mirror of mine….he even repeated “I’m going to be a Grandpa” several times……but then he said one of the sweetest things he has ever said to me.  He said, “Laura I can only hope and pray that she shows that baby the same loving and nurturing ways as you did raising them.  She couldn’t have had a better example as a Mom than you.”

 Those were kind words and I know they were genuine, but I still couldn’t help but sit on the other end of the phone and feel like somehow I’ve failed her……

 

My baby is having a baby…..where did I go wrong?  What didnt I do?  What didnt I say?

 

Well……..Mid November the Moore household will have a new addition.  She will have an entire household of people to love and spoil her…….

 

I’m going to be a Grandma……

 

I still cant believe it,

me

Advertisements

13 Comments

  1. Laura,
    First of all, congratulations on your new status of GRANDMA!  I know that this is one of the worst fears we mothers have when our children reach the teenager/young adult stage.  It has been my fear and I am the mother of boys.  I truly believe that God works in mysterious ways and while he may give us tests in life, there is a reason for everything he does.  You might not know the reason for this child, but believe that there is one.  I wish both you and your daughter all the best in this new adventure in life’s journey and will look forward to welcoming your new addition!
    Godspeed,
    Kat

  2. "where did I go wrong?  What didnt I do?  What didnt I say?"
    Don’t even go there!!!   We raise children to make the right decisions, and it’s up to them to follow through.  You are a fabulous mom and you have failed no one.   To be dissappointed is to be expected. As a previous comment says… God has this plan, and even though it might seem like He’s not involved in the least.  He’s there. 
    And please remember one thing.. you are the mom of the mommy… the grandma… of course you are going to be there every step of the way to make sure everything is fine.   The baby sitters and etc… That can be the Mommy and Daddy’s thing too!   Please remember that although she’s "your little girl" she’s about to become a Woman in less than 8 months and we need to prepare her for such.  You have sooooo much on your plate, I just worry that this will be a bit overwhelming for you.  Please remember to BREATHE!! 
    As far as the necessaties… that’s what Baby showers are for.  Also, I think the Easter Seals may help out if she needs some.  Plus Garage Sale Season is around the corner.   
    O.K. and remind that daughter that twins do run in that family… I’d be terrified!!  Tee hee ha ha   Can’t wait to welcome the new addition to the family.   Look forward to the belly photo’s too!!!   OH and you refered to the baby as "she".  Hmmmmmm another dream perhaps? 
    Sending thoughts and prayers your way!! 
    Take care to the ENTIRE Moore Family four, three and two legged.
     
     

  3. "where did I go wrong?  What didnt I do?  What didnt I say?"
    Don’t even go there!!!   We raise children to make the right decisions, and it’s up to them to follow through.  You are a fabulous mom and you have failed no one.   To be disappointed is to be expected. As a previous comment says… God has this plan, and even though it might seem like He’s not involved in the least.  He’s there. 
    And please remember one thing.. you are the mom of the mommy… the grandma… of course you are going to be there every step of the way to make sure everything is fine.   The baby sitters and etc… That can be the Mommy and Daddy’s thing too!   Please remember that although she’s "your little girl" she’s about to become a Woman in less than 8 months and we need to prepare her for such.  You have sooooo much on your plate, I just worry that this will be a bit overwhelming for you.  Please remember to BREATHE!! 
    As far as the necessities… that’s what Baby showers are for.  Also, I think the Easter Seals may help out if she needs some.  Plus Garage Sale Season is around the corner.   
    O.K. and remind that daughter that twins do run in that family… I’d be terrified!!  Tee hee ha ha   Can’t wait to welcome the new addition to the family.   Look forward to the belly photo’s too!!!   OH and you referred to the baby as "she".  Hmmmmmm another dream perhaps? 
    Sending thoughts and prayers your way!! 
    Take care to the ENTIRE Moore Family four, three and two legged.
     
     

  4. I’ve been reading your blog for so long I feel like I know you. LOL. First of all, congratulations on being a grandma! Babies are a blessing even when they are unexpected! As for all of the "stuff" you need, keep in mind that you don’t need 90% of the stuff BabiesRUs tells you that you need. Really, all you need at first is a good, safe carseat, a place for the baby to sleep (crib, bassinett, beside mom, whatever works), diapers, some sleeper pajamas, a couple of blankets and, if she plans to nurse, a good breastpump & some bottles (or bottles and formula if she goes that route).  They make it sound like you need tons of stuff but you never use most of it….  A great resource for baby stuff is Craig’s list if you’ve got one locally or close to you. I picked up a beautiful, barely used crib for $50 that way…. A little soap and water and it was ready for action. Good luck to you and your family. I’ll be watching for updates!
    Tera

  5. It’s funny – the "where did I go wrong" .. you didn’t, you know.  You gave her all the love you could but she is still her own person.  I know I have done things in my past that I have regretted..  that my dad has probably said "where did I go wrong" and I’ve wondered myself – why did I do that..  but we are young and we don’t always see the big picture of our actions.  Your daughter is very lucky to have you for a mom – and you must have taught her well because she is having your grandchild and not running away behind your back to get rid of it.   I strongly believe that is going to be one very lucky child who will be surrounded by much love!
    CONGRATULATIONS!!
    hugs,
    Molly

  6. Congratulations, Grandma! I was in your position about 7 years ago. I understand completely the feeling of wanting to be excited about your first grandchild, but wondering if you should be under the circumstances. You are lucky to have such a good relationship with your daughter. Mine was afraid to tell us, carried a packed suitcase in her car for several weeks thinking as soon as we knew she would be homeless. It broke my heart when I realized how afraid she was.
     
    We were together for the birth – the father left the picture completely, has never seen his beautiful boy – and have continued to be there as she finished high school and struggles to fit in classes (she is now 25 and has five children . . .) and work towards a college degree. She has a supportive partner, a loving – but unbelievably – ‘active’ family and is one of the strongest young women I know!
     
    As you said, it’s too late for warnings. You are right to be supportive, and you have every right to be excited! You won’t believe how much you have missed having a baby in the house until you experience it again!  Good luck, and if you need a shoulder, I’m here.
     
    -cindy

  7. Wow wow wow wow wow.  She is VERY lucky to have you as a mom.  You are giving her just the support, love and guidance she needs right now when she is probably FREAKED OUT.  Her father is correct.  You are a fantastic role model.  You are not perfect, you’ve made mistakes…you’re human.  Your experiences in life will only help her, and I’m sure they have shown her how to overcome obstacles and how to be a better person.  Together you will help her figure it all out.
     
    Congrats GRANDMA!

  8. You are going to be just as great of a grandma as you are a mom. 🙂  I can imagine it is probably hard to think of yourself as a grandma, but you’ll be the coolest.  Just don’t have the wee one call you "Maw Maw."  I never liked that when I would hear kids call their g.ma that!  Have a great weekend, Laura!

  9. Congratulations to you all xx I agree with the comments above in that you actually don’t need that much. I found out at 20 weeks that I was pregnant and with not a lot of time left to save up I just brought a cot, car seat, nappies and bottles and formula. A few baby grows and a few toys. That was all. As she’s grown i’ve made great use of ebay bundles of baby clothes !!!
     
    I beleive babies arrive when they want to – mine certainly got fed up waiting for me to decide to have one xx
     
    Axxx

  10. OOhhh been there, done that! I usually just lurk, but had to come in on this one..faced it myself 6 years ago. The first words out of Great-grandma’s mouth were "I’m so disappointed"..so I couldn’t even say that, too..but I was. Disappointed that she wouldn’t have MY dream for her…but now she’s happy with HER dream for her…incubating the 3rd baby, just married, happy as a clam, even though I hurt frequently, knowing how little backup she has if it all falls apart.(with no higher education or training) But, you’ll love that baby so much it will shock you..it’s different when it’s your grandbaby. You don’t even know that yet…You know how little you actually HAVE to have for kids..they just need a few safety things, then love the stuffing out of them.. which I think you’ll be great at. I’m even crazier about them than I was their mother, if that’s possible.
    hugs, Grandma,
    Jean
     

  11. Wow!  You def handled that with grace.  You bet you could’ve rainted and raved, but you’re so right, what would be the point. Good for you for being supported as she may just be a bit freaked out herself. 

  12. I am beyond impressed with your reaction.  My cagey daughter waited until she was in the shower to tell me (and knew she was safe from me coming in there, because I’d just finished my hair and make-up before work).  And she was nearly 22!  So I know it’s quite a different scenario.  For my daughter and me, there needs to be a happy medium between her thinking everything will always just be peachy, and me thinking everything means the end of the world as we know it.  Well, both those things came true in the nicest ways possible.  My youngest of four grandchildren is now four and I would like more babies, please.  Congratulations–I look forward to reading about this adventure for all of you.


  13.  
    try clicking on this  hopefully it will show the dogs of myspace panda’d up for earth day today – m shepherd is about no 5 i think
     
    Anne-Marie xxx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: