My trip to IU with Sierah was a long 3 hour drive on roads that were a sheet of ice. When we got to 465 to go around Indy the highway was closed down to a screeching halt. We were in stand still traffic for over an hour due to a traffic accident……so there we were and hundreds of other people……just waiting. Finally a state trooper started turning people around and headed us down the highway the wrong way to an exit. Luckily we were able to get right back on the highway directly past the accident……if I had only know how close we really were. (my map was NOT in my car…..grrr)
None the less we got there right on time and Sierah didn’t miss any of her testing….the orientation for the parents was long, but I was looking forward to the walking part of the orientation where we were to tour campus. THAT was left out due to the snow and extremely cold temperatures we received that day. After two weeks of wonderful, balmy Spring weather we got dealt another hand of winter weather the day we were to go to IU.
The beautiful blooming IU campus was now full of daffodils and tulips that were now lying dead on their sides. It was a mild distraction from the extremely large, beautiful campus. We were running late to begin with so we were unable to take pictures on the way in……on the way out Sierah was exhausted from an entire day of testing and lectures and I couldn’t even talk her into going to the campus gift store. (Not sure about Sierah…….but I wanted an IU basketball sweatshirt) We did manage to snap a few photos of the stadium on our way out…….guess I will have to take lots of photos the day we take her to school. (I am sure she will be fine, but I will cry like a baby.)
During the orientation they told us the kids would be reading “The Tipping Point” for her critical thinking class. I decided to get the book and read it myself before I gave it to Sierah to read. I am glad I did…..as soon as I am finished I will get his second book and read it too. I would suggest reading it.
Lastly after a week of soaring on a Mommy high of sorts from trying to solidify everything for my first born child to graduate high school and go off to college…..I was delivered a blow of unexpected news.
One of my other children is going to make me a Grandma.
Interestingly enough I have always told all my friends, “I cant wait till I become a Grandma”….bla bla bla. So maybe I burnt bread on myself…. but right now as the letters g r a n d m a get pushed down by my fingers on the keyboard I wish I had said……”I can wait about 5 more years to be a grandma.”
You are suppose to spoil your grandbabies and send them home….so what if everyone lives in one house….then what?……spoil them and send them to the next room?
It is hard to explain my reaction when I found out. It was a weird mix of being disappointed, worried and excited. Disappointed in my child for the obvious reasons, worried for her future and excited as the prospect of my first grandchild.
I am trying to handle this situation with as much grace as humanly possible. It is too late to get mad, rant and rave. I have my child to think of and her unborn child who needs a happy, non-stressed Mommy to carry her for the next 9 months. It has already happened and I cant change it…….
I need to regroup and refocus and push ahead.
I bought a home pregnancy test to confirm it myself……those two blue lines came up like BAM. Okay, okay….yes, she’s pregnant. So I spent the next day at Boarders on my lunch hour buying her books to help her understand her pregnancy, on the phone making Doctor and WIC appointment and trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing…..Where would the baby crib go?.. How much does a car seat cost?….Who would baby sit the baby?….. She WILL finish school….How will I get all of the stuff the baby is going to need in such a short period of time?……WHAT THE HELL AM I ABOUT TO DO?………Lord help me.
Grace……remember grace……get it together Laura…..
I printed off everything I could find on the Internet on eating healthy during pregnancy, etc. I talked to her about how she feels, if she’s scared, how the boy has reacted….told her to make sure she takes her vitamin everyday till we get the prenatal vitamins……She seems right now to be a pillar of strength.
Then I went to my room I let it all out and cried, no wept would be a better word……Got up, sucked it up…..remembered to breath……went to the bathroom to splash water on my face and stood there looking at the mirror thinking….”I’m going to be a Grandma…..I’m going to be a Grandma.” Grandma…..for the first time in my life that word sounded weird…..it is now attached to me.
I called her Father in Florida and told him. His thoughts were almost a mirror of mine….he even repeated “I’m going to be a Grandpa” several times……but then he said one of the sweetest things he has ever said to me. He said, “Laura I can only hope and pray that she shows that baby the same loving and nurturing ways as you did raising them. She couldn’t have had a better example as a Mom than you.”
Those were kind words and I know they were genuine, but I still couldn’t help but sit on the other end of the phone and feel like somehow I’ve failed her……
My baby is having a baby…..where did I go wrong? What didnt I do? What didnt I say?
Well……..Mid November the Moore household will have a new addition. She will have an entire household of people to love and spoil her…….
I’m going to be a Grandma……
I still cant believe it,