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Monthly Archives: April 2007

Last night after Acacia told me she was having some cramping and spotting… I decided to take her to the hospital to make sure she and the baby were okay before I go on a business trip this week to Chicago.

 

Sadly, the ultrasound confirmed Acacia has lost the baby……She is physically okay but emotionally devastated.   I am heart broken for my child… and the little Grandbaby I will never know…..Bless her little soul….

 

Rest in peace little one………we will miss you…..

 

My heart hurts……my eyes are swollen from crying……

 

 Laura…

 

Please lift Acacia in your prayers…..

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I guess I am settling into the whole Grandma thing…..The Goodwill had a 50% off sale this weekend so I got Acacia up early and off we went.  I thought if we could even find her a couple pair of maternity pants or shirts we would be doing good….I figured we would find lots of baby clothes, just wasn’t too sure about the maternity stuff because she is so darn small.  (Size 5-7)

 

Lets just say we hit the Mother load ~ so to speak.  We found a ton of nice stuff.  Sierah even said, “I wonder if all that stuff came from the same person.”  We got $100 worth of stuff for $40 at the first store because I also had a coupon and we got $120 worth of stuff at the second store for $50 with a second coupon.  I think I got her 6 or 7 pair of jeans and several pair of khaki Capri’s, a bunch of cute shirts and a ton of baby clothes and receiving blankets….. Bags and bags of stuff……She was thrilled and I was happy.  ~  Oh and lots and lots of really nice baby books. 

 

I read out loud to my kids in my womb and I continued reading to them every single day for many years later.  I asked Acacia to read out loud to the baby every day……I made an avid reader out of at least one of my kids.  You never see Taryn without a book in her hand.

 

Yesterday I spent most of the day cleaning and doing laundry.  In between doing stuff I kept taking Acacia healthy snacks……carrot sticks, bananas and pineapple chunks mixed, etc…….she would sort of giggle and say “Thanks Mommy” when I would bring it to her.

 

It was kind of funny when she said it……I realized she is my only child who still calls me “Mommy.” 

 I took a photo of Acacia from the side yesterday to start documenting her pregnancy with my camera.  Her belly seems kind of big for her being 13/14 weeks and how slim she was before.  I said, “Boy, I hope it’s not twins”…..She said, “Sierah just said the same thing.”  We all just kind of looked at each other.  * eye roll…..Oy! @ just the thought…..

My trip to IU with Sierah was a long 3 hour drive on roads that were a sheet of ice.  When we got to 465 to go around Indy the highway was closed down to a screeching halt.  We were in stand still traffic for over an hour due to a traffic accident……so there we were and hundreds of other people……just waiting.  Finally a state trooper started turning people around and headed us down the highway the wrong way to an exit.  Luckily we were able to get right back on the highway directly past the accident……if I had only know how close we really were.  (my map was NOT in my car…..grrr)

 

None the less we got there right on time and Sierah didn’t miss any of her testing….the orientation for the parents was long, but I was looking forward to the walking part of the orientation where we were to tour campus.  THAT was left out due to the snow and extremely cold temperatures we received that day.  After two weeks of wonderful, balmy Spring weather we got dealt another hand of winter weather the day we were to go to IU. 

 

The beautiful blooming IU campus was now full of daffodils and tulips that were now lying dead on their sides.  It was a mild distraction from the extremely large, beautiful campus.  We were running late to begin with so we were unable to take pictures on the way in……on the way out Sierah was exhausted from an entire day of testing and lectures and I couldn’t even talk her into going to the campus gift store.  (Not sure about Sierah…….but I wanted an IU basketball sweatshirt)  We did manage to snap a few photos of the stadium on our way out…….guess I will have to take lots of photos the day we take her to school.  (I am sure she will be fine, but I will cry like a baby.)

 

During the orientation they told us the kids would be reading “The Tipping Point” for her critical thinking class.  I decided to get the book and read it myself before I gave it to Sierah to read.   I am glad I did…..as soon as I am finished I will get his second book and read it too.  I would suggest reading it.

 

Lastly after a week of soaring on a Mommy high of sorts from trying to solidify everything for my first born child to graduate high school and go off to college…..I was delivered a blow of unexpected news.

 

One of my other children is going to make me a Grandma. 

 

Interestingly enough I have always told all my friends, “I cant wait till I become a Grandma”….bla bla bla.  So maybe I burnt bread on myself…. but right now as the letters g r a n d m a get pushed down by my fingers on the keyboard I wish I had said……”I can wait about 5 more years to be a grandma.”

 

You are suppose to spoil your grandbabies and send them home….so what if everyone lives in one house….then what?……spoil them and send them to the next room?

 

It is hard to explain my reaction when I found out.  It was a weird mix of being disappointed, worried and excited.  Disappointed in my child for the obvious reasons, worried for her future and excited as the prospect of my first grandchild.

 

I am trying to handle this situation with as much grace as humanly possible.  It is too late to get mad, rant and rave.  I have my child to think of and her unborn child who needs a happy, non-stressed Mommy to carry her for the next 9 months.  It has already happened and I cant change it…….

 

I need to regroup and refocus and push ahead.

 

I bought a home pregnancy test to confirm it myself……those two blue lines came up like BAM.  Okay, okay….yes, she’s pregnant.  So I spent the next day at Boarders on my lunch hour buying her books to help her understand her pregnancy, on the phone making Doctor and WIC appointment and trying to wrap my brain around the whole thing…..Where would the baby crib go?.. How much does a car seat cost?….Who would baby sit the baby?….. She WILL finish school….How will I get all of the stuff the baby is going to need in such a short period of time?……WHAT THE HELL AM I ABOUT TO DO?………Lord help me.

 

Grace……remember grace……get it together Laura…..

 

I printed off everything I could find on the Internet on eating healthy during pregnancy, etc.  I talked to her about how she feels, if she’s scared, how the boy has reacted….told her to make sure she takes her vitamin everyday till we get the prenatal vitamins……She seems right now to be a pillar of strength.

 

Then I went to my room I let it all out and cried, no wept would be a better word……Got up, sucked it up…..remembered to breath……went to the bathroom to splash water on my face and stood there looking at the mirror thinking….”I’m going to be a Grandma…..I’m going to be a Grandma.”  Grandma…..for the first time in my life that word sounded weird…..it is now attached to me.

 

I called her Father in Florida and told him.  His thoughts were almost a mirror of mine….he even repeated “I’m going to be a Grandpa” several times……but then he said one of the sweetest things he has ever said to me.  He said, “Laura I can only hope and pray that she shows that baby the same loving and nurturing ways as you did raising them.  She couldn’t have had a better example as a Mom than you.”

 Those were kind words and I know they were genuine, but I still couldn’t help but sit on the other end of the phone and feel like somehow I’ve failed her……

 

My baby is having a baby…..where did I go wrong?  What didnt I do?  What didnt I say?

 

Well……..Mid November the Moore household will have a new addition.  She will have an entire household of people to love and spoil her…….

 

I’m going to be a Grandma……

 

I still cant believe it,

me

Tomorrow Sierah and I will be trekking 3 hours up I69 to IU Bloomington for her college orientation. 

 

Yesterday, along with an invitation to join the National Honor Society she was notified that she has received a total of over $21 thousand dollars in grants and scholarships for school this year, based on grades alone.  (God is good and my child is so blessed….)

 

I still cant believe my baby is heading to College, but man-o-man her Mom is so proud of her!!

 

Way to go Sierah!  You go to IU and kick @ss!

 

You’ll always be my superstaaaaaaar!

 Mom

Camping in the Spring in Indiana can bring a mixed bag of weather….as it did for us this weekend. 

 

Friday was sunny warm and beautiful, Friday evening was very cold and windy, Saturday was cloudy, cool and windy and Saturday night was extremely cold and rainy (you could see your breath in the tent)…….Today was a beautiful sunny day during the morning so we went canoeing but early evening we had high winds and showers.

 

Acacia and I came home when the rain started tonight. (As Marcus said, we were “kicked off the island”.)  Acacia was ready to sleep in her own bed and I have to work tomorrow.  Sleeping in that tent Friday night on the ground made me feel like I was 100 years old when I was finally able to pry myself off the ground.  So many bones were popping and cracking it sounded like I had lain on a pile of sticks….Before we all laid down to go to sleep I said, “Nobody go to the restroom alone….if you have to go at night, I’ll walk with you…….4:00AM:  Taryn says….”Mom, I need to go to the bathroom”…….5:30AM:  Acacia says….”Mom, I need to go to the restroom.”…….Oy….No rest for the wicked.

 

The remaining people on the island are Sierah, Marcus and Taryn.  (They are returning home Wednesday as they are forecasting rain mixed with snow Wednesday……Those 3 are serious camping troopers….

 

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The “Burnt Oven Mitt Award” of the trip goes to ME!  For burning 2 puggie pies, (prior to making one perfect one for Taryn) 1 puggie pie breakfast sandwich burnt to a crisp (but I did eat the inside) and for making the outside of Marcus and my baked potatoes suspiciously dark. (But the inside was good with a little butter and ranch)   I did make some non-burnt baked beans in the cast iron skillet today that I didn’t even get to taste because the rain blew in before Acacia and I got a chance to eat…..guess I will find out how they tasted next time I talk to the kids. 

 

Diggie was promptly taken home after just one night of camping…..as he turns out not to be camping material.  Cheyenne was taken up to replace him and protect the kids but she decided that when Mom left for the night she was suppose to leave too.  (She missed her Mommy)  The kids said she stood at the tent door for hours waiting on me to return.  Bear goes wherever I go so he traveled back and forth with me. 

 

Cheyenne is such a Mommies girl that today while in the canoe with Marcus and Sierah she nearly tipped the boat over going from side to side trying to see me….. if I got too far out of her eyesight.  (Awhhh…)

 

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What I learned from this camping trip:

 

  • Toothpaste, if left in the camping gear for too long, gets crunchy.
  • Cheyenne should not go canoeing unless she is in the boat with me.
  • Sometimes stuff is easier to burn out of the cast iron skillet than washing out.
  • Pink Croc shoes should not be worn when hiking.
  • Never sit in the bottom of a canoe if you don’t have another set of dry clothes to change into.
  • People will eat scrambled eggs that have mystery crunchy stuff in them if they get hungry enough.
  • Everything tastes better with ketchup or ranch dressing on it.
  • I can build the biggest fires and burn more food than anyone else in my family.
  • I am far too old and broken to sleep directly on the ground any longer  (If I intend on walking the next day.)
  • Marcus and Sierah need canoeing lessons.
  • We were able to successfully ruin every folding chair we had this weekend.
  • The kids will wear my funny orange hat (that they love to make fun of) if they get cold enough.
  • When there is only one bathroom open in the campground, camp closer than 3 blocks away from it.
  • Farting out loud in the tent right before everyone drifts off to sleep is still funny.

 

And last but not least:

 There is no place like home, a hot shower and your own bed……