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Monthly Archives: April 2006

Yesterday morning while I was sipping my morning coffee and watching the news I caught a sound clip of a downtown beating that left one person in critical condition.  I was half way paying attention to the television until I looked up and noticed MY house on the news, surrounded by police tape.  "Hey, that’s OUR house…. on the news!…………(*shouts upstairs) SIERAHhhhhhhhh, do you have your TV on?  Our house is on the freekin news!!" 
 
Talk about surreal, it was one of the strangest things ever, I jumped straight up and ran out the front door to do a quick inspection for the yellow police tape…..not one bit of it left, no evidence of a struggle, no blood, no broken glass, nothing, nada…..it appeared to be exactly as it had been the day prior… but evidently much had transpired since I went to bed the evening prior.  Talk about strange….How did I miss all that commotion? 
 
Where was I during the near fatal beating directly in front of my house, multiple police arriving, yellow police tape being draped across my house, the news crews showing up?……..(Zzzzzzzzz) where were the kids? (ZzzzZzzzz) where were the faithful watch dogs? (ZZZzzzZZzzzz)  Every last one of us slept thru it…..all of it.  Had I not seen it on the news, I would of had no idea any of it actually happened.  (I guess the sound of my fan really does drown out the noise of the street in front of the house.)  Oy!
 
 
Coffee
 
My bloggers review pack of coffee arrived fresh from Boca Java yesterday.  Poor Acacia was home sick but thank goodness she was here to sign for my package of goodies.  I came home, sat on the couch and started talking to her……..I noticed something unusual…….where is that wonderful smell coming from?  It smells like coffee……..Oh, my box is here (woo-hoo)……..I pulled the package apart and inspected a wonderful array of different coffee flavors, a super cool Bloggers mug and hat.  Ive got to admit that opening the box and me squeezing different packages to smell the aroma of the coffee spurred a coffee sniffing frenzy in my front room………the kids and I were going from package to package squeezing and sniffing………"ummmm, this one smells good…..no, this one smells good…….." bla bla bla. ~ They all smelled great, I cant wait to try them. 
 
So tomorrow morning I will be grinding my first Boca Java coffee beans…..I imagine they are going to be wonderful, they smell delicious thru the little hole in the package.
 
Thank you Boca Java!
 
me.
My neighborhood has been invaded by a troop of little bay-bay kids.  (You know the ones that dont die, they multiply.)  A whole lil gang of em.
 
One thing I cherish about this neighborhood, compared to my last is the minimal amount of little screaming kids…….my block is full of older people…….older people are quiet.  I get enough noise out of the fraternity boys to fill the evening air on a regular basis….  At the old place there were about 3 families on the block that had small kids that they never knew where they were at…….they were generally somewhere breaking windows out of abandoned houses, tormenting neighborhood dogs and cats and/or vandalizing cars.  (Elementary school age kids, not older kids.)  I remember when all of them collectively had chicken pox.  They were still out roaming the streets…..I guess infecting the better part of the neighborhood with itchy red bumps and high fevers.  These kids would be out till after 1:00 AM on school nights……One night I caught them creeping around the back of my house so I turned on the hose and doused them all with cold water……they ran home as fast as their little legs would carry them.
 
I noticed my new bay-bay kids last week one day when they were in the alley behind my house tormenting Oreo.  They had a stick poking it thru the fence screaming "Shut up stupid dog" while be barked and wagged his tail.  (ever the guard dog)  They were so busy messing with the dog, they never even glanced up at me as I examined their shoeless, kool-aid stained t-shirt wearing selves.  Only one child was completely dressed, the others had on only pampers and shirts…….. I glanced both ways down the alley, one direction is the frat boys house, (they obviously don’t belong down there unless the boys started a child care business) the other direction has a row of 4 unkempt old houses.  They evidently moved into the first one, closest to my house.  (Joy)  I yelled for them to leave the dog alone and go home…..they did as requested. 
 
I have a small patch of trees behind my house that the 3 legged cat lived in before he adopted us.  This patch of trees seems all too interesting for these kids…….the problem is they are all so little.  Really little…and out there alone….I would say the oldest one is 7 (and there are 5 or 6 of them) so during the day the 3 smallest ones are out alone, playing just feet from a very busy 3 lane street.  These kids are outside 24/7 doing all sorts of random stuff and marching up and down the alley… alone.  It makes my skin crawl….what a perfect place for a pervert to snatch one of them.  I have sat outside on my back porch for an entire hour during lunch and not one time did an adult come out of the house to check on them……I even sat and watched as one of them (a little boy) climbed up on top of his Mom’s car, pulled his "little horse out of the barn" and pissed in the wind……2 babies in diapers stood and watched…..Taryn and I looked at each other and shook our heads in disbelief. 
 
Yesterday I noticed this large brown pit bull loose in the same patch of trees……the bay-bay kids were out in the trees trying unsuccessfully to pull a large branch from an extremely old, large tree…..the dog goes whizzing past them, my dogs notice him and start barking like a pack of wild hyenas.  The pit immediately comes into the alley, hair and tail straight up……he pissed on the telephone pole and as he turned to kick dirt into the air I noticed he was intact.  I kept calling my dogs till they all came back in…….he wasn’t overly aggressive with the dogs but I was concerned for the kids till he trotted past them as if they weren’t there while the little bay-bays all screamed and ran.  I am now looking to see where the dog came from because an unknown visitor raided my trash that was set out after Easter……my child that saw him said the dog looked like Tonka…..I think  this was my cultrate.  He looks just like her. 
 
Three houses down stand 3 women, one young man and a 20 something man all looking at me, looking at them.  I was on the phone with someone from work and still trying to figure out where the dog came from.  I guess they noticed and started doing these big hand motions like, "What?   What you lookin at?  Wanna fight?"  The pit was zooming all over the place so I never could tell where he ended up. 
 
Standing there a while longer, just to tournament the "wanna fight" people I took a long look at them…….they look like they just rolled out of a dive trailer park somewhere…..the guy looked something like Eminem and the girls looked…well…trashy. 
 
Today while out on the back porch reading I got a better look at one of the "wanna fight" folks.  This was the young man, he was riding one of those stupid little motorcycle things that looks like a tiny Harley (cute for kids but STUPID for grown folks) he had on no shirt, cut off jeans, sneakers with no socks…..he had a huge lump on his forehead and ears that protruded straight out and he was noticeably dirty.  I gave him a friendly smile as he passed (yes I forced one out) and he just shot me a dirty look.  He looked (for lack of a better term) inbreed.
 
A couple of the dogs are seriously wound up every time one of those little bikes or a moped pass by the house…….they run up and down the fence like they are crazy and I guess he found that funny so he decided to go up and down the street repeatedly next to my house, laughing looking at the dogs as he taunted them.  This pissed me off so I stood up and engaged him in a dirty look then called in my dogs…..He grew tired of the performance with no audience so he went back home…..looking back at me….
 
I have now decided I am going to ready a row of tack strips for his next performance for my dogs……(just kidding….but still not a bad idea)
 
Im still working on an idea for the bay-bay kids……(I do have a couple words for the Mom though….)  Some people shouldnt breed.
 
me
 
 

Out of 100 residents at the apartment complex I manage… I have a few who I interact with more than the rest for various reasons, some because they are reeking havoc within the building and others because they like to chat to me… I think because they tend to long for "normal" conversation.  One of my favorites is "B".  She always had lively conversation for me, enjoyed the extra stuff I always do for my residents like BINGO or cook outs and always made a point to come down and chat with me on a regular basis.  I really enjoy her.

 

Well, the last few months I have been really worried about her.  She has not been herself, depressed because her boyfriend broke up with her, stopped taking care of herself, leaving her mail in her box for extended periods of time till the mail lady would tell me she couldn’t fit anything more in her box, never leaving the apartment, etc.  I called the case manager…….and kept calling….

 

Last week they ended up taking her on a 72-hour evaluation.  Since that time she has been hospitalized for just a few days and is already starting to feel better (back on her meds) …..thank goodness.

 

Once they told me that she was in the hospital I said, "Who is taking care of the cat?"  The case manager said she was unsure if the cat even had food or water…….so I went to check.

 

I found her apartment in total disarray.  It made my heart sink thinking of "B" being in there.  Stacks and stacks of mail and newspapers, mold growing on old dishes stacked everywhere, foul odor from a litter box that had not been changed in a long-long time, all of the windows closed up, long white and cat hair all over the entire apartment…..more hair than I can explain.  I mean the hair is stuck to every cloth type surface in the entire apartment….furniture, carpet, curtains, etc.  It is everywhere.

 

Cleaning up her apartment is being handled by her case manager and some cleaning ladies who they will pay to come in……but I was still worried about the cat.  That poor cat…

 

The poor lil guy was so frightened when I first came in that he didn’t come out at all.  I decided to open up the windows to give him some fresh air and then dump the dirty litter into the trash and put in the new bag of litter that I found…….I am SURE the cat was happy with that…..I washed out the bowls and gave him food and fresh water.  Took the stinky trash out on my way out the door. 

 

The cat eventually came out before I left….I guess to check me out… and let me pet him…..as I stroked down his body I ended up literally with handfuls of hair.  He is loosing just tons of it.

 

I believe the food is the problem……the hair problem anyways.  She is feeding the cat this crappy off brand of cat food that had terrible ingredients in it.  People just have no idea how bad that cheap stuff really is for the animal….they often cant get past the cheapest bag of food they see and often end up feeding an animal they love the equivalent of a ground up corncob or saw dust… basically.

 

I thought and thought about it and decided today to go out and buy the cat some quality food, a nice storage container, a scoop, some treats, vitamins and some toys.  While at the store, I happened to see the case manager…..She said "B" is doing great.  (Great news)  I told her about the cat food…..explained that I thought it would make the cat shed way less and be better for the cat and "B" in the long run.  She said, "Hey…whatever works, I’m not a cat person…"

 

So Monday morning the kitty will have some new grub. 

 

My luck the lil turd wont eat it!  lol

 

me. 

 

I love my morning coffee and it would be accurate to say that if I don’t get my morning coffee I can be rather crabby…..lets just say it messes up my whole day……BUT…..I seldom drink more than 1, maybe 2 cups a day.  Light weight I know…

 

This morning I left the house rather quickly so I didn’t have a chance to turn on my percolator.  (Yes, I use a percolator and not a Mr. Coffee)  This morning I opted for McDonalds for breakfast, along with my meal I got their “New Bold Coffee.”  (I guess rather than the old burnt stuff)……Their coffee always seemed burnt to me….ew.  Anyways….I got back to work, put in all my fixins’ and…..

 

I’m not impressed.

 

But I was impressed the last couple times I got coffee from their competition….Arby’s.  Not sure if they have changed their coffee nationally but I do know locally it may have been changed due to the Starbucks that went in about ½ a mile away.  Not only is the coffee great but they will also put the creamers and sugars in for you, etc.  I was impressed.  Good stuff.

 

WORK

 

Yesterday I received a psychiatric evaluation of a resident that I wished I had never seen.  I am not sure why he signed releases to have it sent to me, but he did.  He may have actually wanted them to sign something getting him out of doing community service…I don’t know..…and they sent me that….. * shutters to think about it…eww…..

 

 

Today Tricia and I will be re-inspecting some poor housekeepers.  Yes it is nasty, but I somehow find it interesting that people can actually live like that.  One lady followed us around two weeks ago telling us basically everything wrong in her apartment was our (the housing authority’s) fault.  She was so nasty that she has a zillion mouse turds on the top of her kitchen counter and didn’t seem to think a thing about it.  The first thing I ask the residents when I come in is, “Do you have any insect or mice infestation?”  I ask this because we use Orkin for any pests and it is free of charge to the residents.  They can have them come as much as they want…….She said she had mice really bad, had roaches but got rid of them.  I said, “Did you call in a work order?”…..She says, “No.”  (Okay, so now we know YOU are the problem.)

 

I go thru the apartments taking photos and telling Tricia what to write (items I note are in need or repair or damaged) and poor Tricia was so flustered by how nasty the ladies apartment was, it seemed she could hardly write.  When I got back to work and was ready to write out my report, look at Tricia’s notes and download my photos…..I had a good laugh at Tricia’s notes.  (In regard to this woman’s housekeeping)  Let’s just say they were honest, but couldn’t be included in my report……

 

A week from today we will be at our most troubled property, along with every Manager and every big wig, all the way up to the Executive Director doing a unit to unit inspection looking for pest infestations……eww.  Looking inside all 150 units.

 

Maybe I can be sick that day.

 

me

Dogs are easy.  It seems like the simplest of things makes them happy……and at my house this morning that included old Easter Flat Rolls/fat bread.

 

Let me explain.  I made homemade dinner rolls for Easter dinner….let them rise during all day and when it came time for my family to show up I sat them right on top of the stove so I wouldn’t forget to bake them.

 

My niece strolled in with warm dishes of food; turned my oven on warm, opened the oven door, slid the stuff in and kept the oven door cracked.  Not a problem right?  Wrong.  My rolls were on top of the oven ……

 

The heat from the oven made the rolls over rise so when I took the saran wrap off… they went flat.  Well, semi-flat, sorta like fat bread or flat rolls…..Not sure what one….  There was a debate between my sister, my niece and I if we should even cook them.  We decided yes, in they went and they didn’t turn out too bad considering…..everyone still ate some of the flat rolls/fat bread but I had an entire pan that had not been touched. 

 

Someone left the pan in the oven, I never looked in the oven and yesterday when someone was making french-fries, warming up the oven they started re-baking the rolls/bread.  (My kids still scare me with the stove……Oy!)

 

By the time they realized it, the already baked flat rolls/fat bread had turned into something like Biscotti.  I was looking at the pan this morning and decided my dogs might like it……popped out a few pieces, spread it with a bit of peanut butter and what do you know……a delicious dog treat my dogs all went crazy over.  Tonka in particular……she was dancing around, snorting and acting silly all over the kitchen begging for a second bite……so you know I had to give her one.  She AND all of the rest of the crew…….. 

 

My dogs are easy to make happy!….eating up that crazy flatrolls/fatbread and thinking it was the best thing ever……

 

Crazy dogs…

 

 

Laura

 

PS.  Take a look at my new photos…… Franny and Oreo peering into the kitchen door wanting in……freshly washed with the warm water from my hose…. they always run around and act all crazy after a bath….and ready to roll their wet bodies on anything they can find that they are not suppose to…….(like my bed). 

 

I know they just want to share their wet dog smell with me……(Thanks but no thanks guys….)  I’ll pass.

 

 

Silly rabbits.

Why is it when you have a holiday function or a family get together there is always one bad little kid.  I don’t mean mildly bad, I mean really bad.  B. A. D. bad.  (There is at my family gatherings anyways.)

 

My 3-year-old nephew Cody, God love him, is a little red headed hellion.  He is SO bad….his little face needs to be in the dictionary next to the word Bad.  I put my dogs up, to protect them from Cody……..seriously.  He is just that bad.

 

I love him…. I love kids…… but I can only take him in small doses and 4 ½ hours of his non stop yelling, running, jumping, shouting, kicking, fit throwing bugger nose self was enough for me yesterday.  After about one hour I was ready to drop kick him straight out to his Mom’s Mustang. 

 

I raised 5 kids by myself and I have never tolerated any of them being a brat or throwing a fit……Momma didn’t play that!  I never put stuff up out of my children’s reach, off of the tables at home or anywhere else…..I told them “No” and they understood the word “No.”……. 

 

Something else that really gets me……I don’t understand a kid that is 3, still wearing a pamper.  Unless there is something medically wrong, the kid should be using the toilet long before that age, period.  I say if you don’t get the potty training thing as a parent, it is time to sit up and pay attention when your kid can speak in complete sentences, can tell you if they shit their pants or not and can go get a diaper, bring it to you and lay down to have their diaper changed……..HELLO!!!!!

 

So not only is he not potty trained, this little turd of a nephew of mine threw himself on the ground repeatedly…… not to mention the little evil stuff he would do when someone told him “No.”  I know at one point Taryn told him “No” when he was trying to go out the door because it is a few feet from the street and he immediately spit out the contents of his mouth onto the floor in my front porch.  (Black jellybeans.)  He was launching eggs off my front porch while his Mom sat on the patio furniture looking the other way, he ate more candy than 10 kids would need, he ran around non stop during dinner getting food all over my house, he passed by my niece Kourtland and kicked her in the chin for no apparent reason, he threw himself onto the ground to have a fit more times than I could count, he told his Mom “NO” a good 50 times, if anyone said “Cody stop that” he would scream bloody murder…….it was bad…….really bad. 

 

As a matter of fact…

 

He is the type of little kid that they should rent out to young teenage girls who think getting pregnant would be a great idea……a breeze……a walk in the park.  All they would have to do is spend one day (even just a few hours) with Cody and they would change their mind.  I will now forever think of little Cody as birth control in the rawest of forms.

 

Just contact me if anyone wants to rent out the little bad-*ss Cody for the day…..CHEAP!  I am SURE he would work! 

 

Other than that, Easter was great!

 

 

Aunt Laura  

Once again today I will be working at someone else’s office.  After being there for a few days I have determined that working in someone else’s space is like driving someone else’s car.  You know the basic stuff is all there, but for all of the other stuff you spend lots of time looking for it, once you find it you are not sure if it works like yours and in the end…… it just doesn’t drive the same. 

 

Rosie’s office just doesn’t drive the same as mine.  I want my office back!…..

 

One good thing, my friend Tricia will be out there helping me today……so at least I know I will be laughing the whole time.

 

She would of appreciated one of my appointments yesterday.  I will refer to him as Captain Kirk.  This is a resident who I see often because he lives directly behind my sister (and EVERY time Tricia and I pull down my sisters street she says, “Who’s the weird guy at your sisters house?”  I always respond, “That’s not my sisters house you dork……..”  (Then we both laugh……..every time!)

 

Well Captain Kirk came in yesterday for his recertification and he was wearing his standard red scarf thing tied on his head, a shirt, a flannel shirt, an old army jacket, suspenders, jeans, boots and it was 78 degrees out.  He looks like he has just been drug from the back of a truck and has way overgrown hair on his head and face.  Try to imagine some dude from the 60’s that was MIA from Vietnam and they found him 6 years later……this is kind of how he looks.  He wears those old stoner glasses with the tint at the top and makes the strangest sound when he breathes……  He sounded like a cross between someone snoring and a breathing machine.  I must admit he made great conversation even though I couldn’t follow everything he was talking about…… I even got an invitation to lunch with him to the local Chinese place……I told him I would take a rain check because I was meeting my girlfriends at our favorite soul food place.  (Wings with yams and dressing with gravy on top…..hum)   I will make a point one day to take the captain to lunch!  I imagine he has a interesting story to tell……

 

 

THE STORM

 

We had a nasty storm move thru last night at about 2:00AM and it made ALL of my dogs nervous.  Oreo is normally my one yelling, “I want my Mommy!!!” but last night all of them tried to sit on top of me, lie on me or get under my covers.  They had me up for two hours dancing around my bed and around ON my bed.  It took me forever to get back to sleep……so guess what?  I over slept.  UGH.  I am normally at work by 7:00AM (one hour early) and this morning I got UP at 7:00AM……I took the worlds shortest shower, put on non-ironed clothes and made it here on time……crazy dogs.  But I love em!

 

 

EASTER

 

I was again nominated to have the family holiday ( I guess based on the size of my house)…….Pure Joy!…….I am a bit of a recluse and normally have very few people at my house so when I have 30 people that are going to descend upon my house…..it makes me crazy……. I spend way too much time cleaning and worrying about how my house looks considering all of the cleaning I will be doing when they leave.  Not to mention the anxiety attack I have just trying to figure out what and how much food to cook.  (Cant we just go out to eat????)

 

 

See ya!

 

me

Yesterday on my way home from my sisters house I happened upon a 5 car accident.  I glanced over and kept driving.  About half a block down the street I see what I suspect was the cause of the accident….. walking down the street….

 

A beautiful blond with big boobs?……NO.

 

A hunched over elderly gentleman, wearing a blond wig, a red beret, a yellow sweater, red plaid boxer shorts, no pants, white stockings and brown orthopedic shoes…..walking at a brisk pace with a cane. 

 

I am relatively certain he was the cause of the accident because he also caused me to turn completely around (being nosey) to give him further inspection…..but I did so without rear ending someone…(thank goodness) and you know what?   He doesn’t even live in my building…..

 

For all the times for me not to have my camera ……hump.

 

 

 

Laura

 


PS.  I love my hair short, but something I had forgotten from when my hair was previously short…….Short hair + hair gel + 6 hours sleep =  crazy morning hair.  (This morning it equaled nothing short of a Mohawk.)…….morning hair pictures will follow….get ready! 

I have been busy as all get out at work…….doing someone else’s work……grrr……don’t get me started.

 

 

 

I seen the most random thing at lunch today and it just struck me so weird.  (People are weird.) 

 

I am driving home on lunch down a 4 way street, 2 streets East and 2 streets West.  The car ahead of me nails a guy next to us and takes off his mirror.  The guy who gets the mirror taken off, was sitting still when he got hit…. And is driving a Verizon company car.

 

What’s he do? ….. Nothing. 

 

He just sits there.  She drove about a block, then pulled over, turned around and looked at him really strange……and drove off.

 

What was he doing now?……  Still sitting there in traffic doing nothing while people swerve around his mirror on the ground.

 

How strange is that?  A guy driving a company car, gets his mirror whacked off in traffic and just sits there………La, la, la……

 

People ARE weird.    

 

Maybe he is going to go back to work and act like he knows nothing about it……..who knows.

 

My luck, I’d get to drive the company car NEXT!  ugh.

 

Laura

imagine that:

 

During President Bush’s recent trip to India, 17 Secret Service Labradors and German shepherds accompanying him (each with its own police "rank," such as "lieutenant") were housed in five-star hotels in Delhi, according to local press stories (but Delhi police dogs, assisting in the same missions, went home to kennels). Faring less well was one of the three teams of search-and-rescue dogs assigned to find Hurricane Katrina victims, which had to be sent home in March because of a hotel-booking snafu, for which FEMA and Louisiana officials blamed each other. [BBC News, 3-2-06] [CNN, 3-9-06]

 

A contest:

Dog lovers………do you think you look like your pooch….or your pooch looks like you? If so, I have a contest for you. Katka’s Treats is sponsoring a look a like contest that would be fun to enter. Check it out.