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Sierah’s Dad and Grandpa are really hard on her.  I wish somehow I could change that but that is something obviously beyond my control.  They are the way they are….I dont think they will ever change.

 

It came to a boiling point after Sierah’s game Saturday night.  Sierah played a decent game, but I guess she didn’t have as good a game as usual…….not scoring any points but playing a good game otherwise. 

 

 Right after the game her Dad said something to the effect, “I thought you came to play….bla bla bla.”  (Failed to mention her team just beat the other team by 55 points, didn’t mention her blocks or rebounds she had…….)  Sierah got her feelings hurt and walked away crying. 

 

On her drive home her Grandpa called her on her cell and chewed into her too…….saying she was going to loose her starting position to a younger player if she doesn’t step it up, etc. 

 

She came home and balled.  It hurt my heart, but she knows how they both are.  Perfectionist.  The both of them.  It would seem her Father wouldn’t be so hard on her considering the cloak of perfectionism he grew up under…..but he still is.  I don’t understand it.

 

Last night one of her coaches took me aside and asked me to ask them to “quit being so hard on her.”  He said, “She is a good girl, and does the right thing all the time.  She always gives us 100% even in practice….we don’t want them to break her spirit.”  He was really angry when he found out (from another players Uncle) all that her Grandpa and Father had said (more than I mentioned here)……he even called me right after we had walked in the door that night and said, “Oh by the way…..tell them she was our leading re-bounder that game too.” 

 

It is hard on me to watch them be so hard on her.  I grew up with a Father who was a perfectionist who had a genius IQ and nothing I ever did was ever good enough for him.  I know how she feels……it makes you really hard on yourself too.

 

She told me this morning that she had the highest test scores on the last two tests in Micro-Biology…….I wanted her to call her Dad and tell him, but some part of me knows he would find something else negative to say.  That’s sad isnt it?

 

I just hope her skin will thicken and she will listen to me when I tell her nothing else matters than her being happy…….don’t worry about the dumb stuff.  At the end of the day, Dad and Grandpa are still going to be Dad and Grandpa…..she is the one who will have to learn to look over what they say when it is unnecessary, and know that doing the best she can do, is all she can do……

 

She will always be the best in my eyes! 

 

Laura

4 Comments

  1. *sigh* I don’t know what to say. I don’t have any kids, so I’m lacking in the advice dept. I just know how hard it is to be a girl growing up, and I know (most) girls always focus on the negative comments no matter how many positive comments they receive. I think I remember you mentioning Sierah was in honors classes or a gifted program? I wish her father and g.father could try to focus on that, but I guess men will always place a lot of emphasis of sports. *sigh* I’m just glad Sierah has you for all of the positive reinforcement I know you must give to her (and your other kids). Somehow I just know that even after a tough night, Sierah will wake up the next morning as confident as ever. Doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hurt, but I’m sure she is really secure and grounded from all of your support. Keep it up, Moms!

  2. I grew up the same way my father’s standards were way to high for me to reach. If I made a 98 on a test it should have been an 100. My mom was my cheerleader and trust me Sierah hears you. Continue to be her cheerleader and encourage her after her emtions have settled from her father and grandfather so that she can hear your positive comments. My mom did and I’m so happy she did.

  3. i like your movie not hehehhehehhehehhehehe

  4. It’s dad’s job to be hard, but at least your children’s dad is involved in thier lives… Some of.. (if not most) of our people cannot say that….Looking at your space really made me feel good…. family is important.. kids, dogs and cats!!! keep up the good work and hope you’re having a good holiday


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