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I get on my computer today, leave some messages, check out my favorite blogs, etc.  I then decided to look at my statistics and see who has been visiting and not leaving comments.  (See who sneaks in and out the back door when I am not looking)… I have 3 recent searches…those I always look at to see what type of perverted search brings someone to my Blog.  I hate to say perverted, but it never seems like a normal search brings anyone here.  The 3 searches that brought random people to my site in the last 24 hours are as follows:  Drum roll please…..

 

1.  “Old men for young ladies in NC.”

2.  “Dentures for dogs funny.”

3.  “Big head dogs.”

 

I understand how key word searches work but I can’t help but read these and say WTF???  I mean I had a million hits on the word “naked” when I wrote about “Naked Frat Boys.”  Seems there are a million people up in the middle of the night looking naked people, but “Dentures for dogs”…….do they MAKE those?  I laughed out loud when I read that.  Dentures for dogs……that is some funny stuff right there!  *shakes head*  Classic.

 

The keyword searches do often make me leery though because I was going to write about an incident that happened a while ago that involved the Grand-poo-pah-hoo-pa (Whatever you call that idiot) of the *K* (three k’s together) Then I thought of the keyword search…. did I want all of THEM here sniffing around my space?  NO.  I chose not to write about that “crazy crap” that happened to me, for that reason alone.  Maybe another day….My girlfriend got into a fight (word slinging fight) in a chat room with one of “those guys” once and he sent her a virus that melted her hard drive…..b*stard.  (Obviously has way too much time on his hands……) Moving on…*eye roll*

 

It seems I often find myself observing something or remembering something and then think, “I’m going to write about that in my blog.”  Then I think to myself…. I have seriously become a Blog dork.  I talked to a Hospice nurse at work the other day and immediately thought about Darlene…….”Hello, my name is Laura and I AM a Blog dork.”  Seriously, I think it IS a condition and I have it.  Twenty years from now, if we still have Social Security Disablity, people will be trying to get a check for being “Blog-crazy.”  (I will be first one off the short bus and first in line!) 

 

That reminds me, yesterday I got one of those crazy emails you open, only to discover too late that it is inappropriate, and then find you are unable to close it.  I was at work of coarse…(Thanks Tina)…. the email was titled “Endless hours of entertainment.”  She had sent it to her husband, brother in law, a few random friends of ours and me.  I didn’t think anything of it…….opened it.  There were about 5 normal looking people standing in a row and at the top of the page it said, “Move curser over person”……I followed directions…at first nothing happened…then it worked…<BAM> no clothes.  Okay, it was funny and I laughed, but when I pushed the little X at the top right hand side of my page to make it go away, nothing happened… other than the naked woman on the page stood there as though she was staring in defiance at me.  There she was, froze on my screen, naked as a jay-bird, as my computer locked up!  I quickly moved my body to try to cover up my computer screen…..I don’t think it worked.    Ahhhhhhhh!!

 

The true problem here is the fact that despite being the manager, and having no one higher than me on the corporate ladder working in this office with me…….my office is a freekin fish bowl.  Two of my 5 large windows face directly into the lobby of my building.  The lobby seems always to be lined with people who have nothing better to do than watch what I am doing all day……..today it would appear, that they would be watching me, looking at naked ladies.  Lol  *This cant be good.

 

I promise NOTHING worked so I had to hit CTRL< ALT <DELETE.  Shut down the whole d*mn computer. I think I felt sweat bead up on my top lip….panic sat in…..Ahhhhhhhhhh…..”Go away naked lady email!!!!!”    I shout at the computer…….boom, it finally shut down.  Black screen……phew.  <Sigh.>  I turn to look to see WHO seen that email drama, and there was only one resident who wears bottle bottom glasses and cant see his own hand in front of his face sitting on the couch looking into my office, happily picking his nose…(Hey! Dont wipe that on the couch!  ew)..no one noticed…..Thank God!

 

PHEW!

 

Tina, I will get you back! 

 

That was SO not funny!  :o)

 

me

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15 Comments

  1. Punch him where? *wink* I had a few odd searches too when I first started my blog, which I think was a week or so ago, didn’t think I had written anything too exciting at that point, I wish I could remember what they were, because I was like WTF? Maybe ‘??" is the one looking for doggie dentures or the old man for young ladies in NC. *rolls eyes*. If they start a group for BA I’m there, I too am addicted and on the short bus! Now that you said something about the nudie lady, now just think what kind of searches might happen across your space! –LOL–Be great and have a super Saturday!Kate

  2. Kate~ That’s right, punch him there….my Mom was 5 ft tall and always said, "Dynamite come in small packages" *smile*I think "??" was looking for doggie dentures……that or the search last week for "Dog and goat sex." One or the other….. :oP ew.U are right about the nudie lady hits…..if I actually post a nude photo of me they WILL go away and NEVER return! :o)~xoL

  3. Hi! thanks for the comment, I want that apple too ;)Yes, those searches are so funny! I got a couple of thosetoo, like: "naked sexy venezuelan girls", "awesome sex in Margarita Island" and the one I got today "how to tell my crazy mother in law I hate Halloween?"….how do they get to my space, I have NO idea…LOL!Be back, Vicky

  4. LOL @ LauraI’m SO not a computer person, but did you happen to try to close the pic *coughporncough* (kidding!) by right clicking where it is "docked" at the bottom of the screen? Sometimes I get an occasional pop-up/ad that won’t close when I click the X, but will close if I try the aforementioned.Hope you have a fantastic weekend!

  5. This was hilarious!Hey thanks for the tips for my post. Should’ve thought of that!And thanks for the kind words — just got back and am wiped up but feel better.I hope to have something new and half-decent up tomorrow!Take carej.

  6. My ex-boyfriend used to send emails like that to me…I didn’t worry about it too much at my previous job. My computer there faced a corner. Now, my current job is another matter….I must have five people staring at my computer screen over my shoulder constantly. Kelly

  7. Ladies~Vicky~ Those searches ARE funny! I bet those people get to our spaces and say D*MN!Beverly~ I tried everything my little paniced mind could think of……*Laughs out loud thinking about it!!*J~ I sure hope you are feeling better…..Kelly~ Seems I have a couple I could email ya, if you miss getting those! :o)Laura

  8. *Panicked mind*…….why dont I spell check this stuff B4 I hit PUBLISH……..gesh.

  9. Hi there and thanks for your message. How are you doing?I hope that you are ok and that you have had a good week so far!Come by my space sometime when you can and if you have some time cast a vote for my MSN space If u get the chance, but for now,Take care, Love Natasha xox

  10. Oh, Laura. I SO judge you for your misspells … ;)(hmm – "misspells" looks funny. *spell checks* yep, its spelled right. lol )My boy, Benny, brought me a present last night. Uh huh, you guessed it : a mouse! eeks! And it was alive in his mouth! I freaked out, of course, and managed to get both Captive and Captor outside. I tried to get Benny to release the poor thing, but he took off running with it. I really felt badly for the mouse. I know its nature, but you know …Hope you’re having a good one!

  11. Ladies~Natasha~ Voting…lots of votes? Is that how people get on that MSN Best of spaces? I honestly don’t know how it works, but last week an editor from MSN contacted me. Her email said I was being considered for "What’s your story." She first emailed me and I didn’t answer, thought it was junk mail. Then she posted on my site when I didn’t respond. (duh @ me!) They asked for me to tell them in my own words what the theme to my space is……the only problem is, I don’t have a theme. I cant imagine they would feature my space….me and my silly self. :)Beverly~ Once at 5:00AM I got up and found this dark thing on the end of my bed. I picked it up, just being able to see it barely in the twilight…it felt squishy…I turned on the light and BAM! A dead mouse with his little head chewed off….I was standing there screaming…….ahhhhhhhhh! ew Dont ya just love cats! 🙂 L:)

  12. Thats funny – i will have have to go check mine. I should get some good ones considering the story I am telling on my space. I feel like I am becoming a blog dork as well. I start each work day with reading any comments on my site and then visiting each and every one of my favorites. I feel like this is a totally separate circle of firends who helop eachother with only words – no actions needed. Words can be comforting in and of themselves.have a good day and great blog!

  13. Why would you EVER want to get off the short bus??? We have a pretty good crowd reserved….and I hear there will be cocktail service….

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