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Monthly Archives: August 2005




you know the difference between margarine and butter?


Both have the same amount of calories.


Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams.


Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the
same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.


Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.


Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because
they are added!


Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of
other foods.


Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less
than 100 years.


now, for Margarine ……


Very high in trans fatty acids…


Triple risk of coronary heart disease..


Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol)


Lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)


Increases the risk of cancers by up to five fold…


Lowers quality of breast milk ..


Decreases immune response…


Decreases insulin response.


here is the most disturbing fact….




is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC… This fact


was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is
hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure
of the substance).


can try this yourself: purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage
or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things: no
flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you
something) .. it does not rot or smell differently..because it has no
nutritional value, nothing will grow on it…even those teeny weeny
microorganisms will not find a home to grow.


Because it is nearly plastic.



Jenna broke my heart last night. 
We were sitting on the couch watching TV and out of the blue she said, "Mommy, what did my Daddy’s voice sound like?"  She could of shot me in the chest with an arrow… the pain I felt immediately, was so precise…….straight to my heart.  I looked over at her, paused, exhaled and before I could say anything, she said…" Was it deep like Devon’s?"  I said, "Yes."  My reply was so soft……I could barely force out enough air to say it…"yes, it was."  I closed my eyes and remembered him lifting her into the air and saying, "this is mine right here…I finally got her……my baby girl."  My memory was so vivid, I could of reached right out and touched him. 
Jenna and Devon are twins and their Father was shot and killed when they were only two years old.  He was my friend…my lover…… and I miss him still to this day.  I wish I could bring him back for many reasons…. but mainly for my son.  He is my only son and he is without a father.  I have tried to be both…..but I cant.  I know Devon longs for a Father.  It is simply something I can not be.  I am his Mother, his protector and guardian………..everything except a Father.  The things we would change if we could turn back time………only this change would be for my children, not for me.  I have the ability to accept my fate in this world of mine……..but for my children, it’s different. 
Even today it is hard for me to talk about their Dad.  After his death, it took me two years to even open my heart enough to try another relationship.  He was killed 12 years ago and I think it to this day, changed how I open my heart to someone.  (or the inability to)  Maybe it is why I am still alone.
I miss his intensity, his friendship, his ability to make me laugh and how he always made me feel safe. 
I miss so many things about him………
…………and yes, Devon’s voice is deep; just like his.
we miss you so….
I had the craziest dream last night…in my dream I was pregnant.  This doesn’t sound so crazy but it is because of my age (40) and the fact that my youngest child (children…twins) are 13 years old.  Not to mention the fact I have not had sex in longer than I can recall. (but that is beside the point) :0)  Not really, but it just makes me feel better saying that.  Still, why would I dream that??  No simple explanation here….. I don’t secretly want to be pregnant. (even though I love babies and I honestly loved being pregnant.)  It is just too weird to me that I would dream that.
When I was pregnant I use to have this reoccurring nightmare……..I would dream that I was standing in line at a Target store and my water broke.  The only problem was, when it broke I flooded the whole store.  (Ha!)   Everyone in the store was standing ankle deep in this stuff and everyone was looking at me in total disgust.  (I had the damn dream so often that I never went back to Target till long after I had the twins.)…….
 When I was young, I learned way more about dreams than most children, at a very early age.  You see, I had vivid night terrors that totally disrupted my life so my Mom took me to a Doctor to try to help me.  The Doctor did help me, and he also taught me something that very few people know.  You have the ability to change your dreams.  To this day I am often extremely alert during a dream and often can wake myself and/or change the dream.  Last night during the pregnant dream, I was not only unaware I was dreaming, but it was so vivid it seemed real.  (Feeling the baby roll in my stomach)  (Very unusual for me.)  I even at one point took out every dream book from the library that I could get my hands on, so I became really good at interpreting other people’s dreams.  All my friends would tell me their dreams and that I would tell them what I felt they meant.  They always seemed to think I was right on base, but I seem unable to decipher my own.
During College I took a creative writing class and our instructor had us keep a notebook next to our bed so that when we woke we would immediately write down a few lines about our dream, so we could then jog our memory later in the day to really write about the dream.  (You should do it once just to see your hand writing from so early in the morning……..)
Now, the funniest dream I ever had (and almost too embarrassing to admit) was a vivid sex dream about Michael J Fox.  (Someone whom I have never been attracted to.)  In my dream he was following me around begging me for sex and I kept telling him that he was too short, so I wouldn’t be having sex with him.  He eventually convinced me to have sex with him………(strange, I know…)
Anyone’s opinion about pregnancy dream would be appreciated.  Also, if you can top my "flooding Target" dream or my "Michael J. Fox" dream, I would love to hear it!  :o)
Maybe the next time I have a sex dream it can be about Josh Lucas (the guy from Sweet Home Alabama) there was something so sexy about him to me…………umm.  Yeah right, my luck Bob Villa or Mr.. Rogers will show up………….who am I kidding.  ugh!
Sweet dreams!
I will be going today to a baby shower…….The baby shower is for my friend Laura’s daughter Laura.  Now, as you all know my name is Laura too so when the three of us are together ANYWHERE it is a total pain in the ass.  My kids and I call them Big Laura and Lil Laura  and they both call me just Laura, so no problem there…..everyone else is the problem.  When we were all together at basketball games, people would yell "Laura" just to get us all to turn around at once….Not funny people!  Today should be really intersting……tight space, 30 people….3 of whom have the same name….ugh.  That reminds me…….stop and get stuff for cheese ball……
Last night I went to see a local guy named Ty Causey sing at a place called "The blu tomato."  Now, mind you I almost never go out….(my big moonpie face is in the dictionary next to the word "homebody")….So yesterday, I got home from work, took a shower and put on dress clothes (not my normal shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops)  so Jenna right away was right up under me asking a million questions, "Where ya gonna go Mom?…What ya doing?"  "Who ya gonna go with?"  I said, "I am going out with Ms. Tricia to a club called the Blu Tomato."  Jenna says, "I want to go tooOOooOo" (all long and drawn out) and I said, "I’ts for people over 21 so nix that idea."  She went off about her business…..sulking.  About 15 minutes passed and she came back…."I wannnnna goooooo to the Green Potato too."  (Ha!)  I couldnt help but laugh…Then I said, "NO", go watch TV…..Trisha showed up, blew her horn and off we went……….I had a nice time till on the way home when Felecia noticed a spider drop from the ceiling of the car onto ME!.  Trisha pulled over and I jumped outta the car so damn fast my shoe fell off.  I’m standing in an empty parking lot of Lowe’s, one shoe on, one shoe off, hanging my head upside down while I franticly shake my hair with my hands like a crazy woman……:o)  I feekin hate spiders.  I use to have dreams that they were crawling on me and I was awake but unable to move for some reason.  Those dreams haunt me to this day.  geez.  Not to mention the fact I live in Indiana and we have a really nasty spider called the "Brown Recluse spider" that gives you a nasty flesh eating wound.  (while I scratch the top of my head, feeling like something is walking on me….)      Enough about spiders~~~just thinking about it walking on me gives me the willies. ~eeww~ …….
Well, I’m outta here people……..I’ve got cheese balls to make and a baby shower to regulate……my work here is done. (sigh)
Have a good one!
Laura  xo
……….okay, I hate to admit it, but I put up a personal ad on the web.  Yes, I did. (as I hang my head in shame)…..and then promptly took it down…….I’m a dating reject and thought maybe the ad would let me see a light at the end of the dating tunnel.  (fat chance)  I mean I know SOME people meet really great people on line (dont they) but NOOooOOOo not……….me, I attract the fat old white guys who look suspiciously like serial killers.  (90% of them any ways)  I had one really nice looking guy reply to my ad and the first thing I thought of was, "I bet he is gay"..…(with that smooOOooth skin)…plus he is prettier than me so I cant date him.   I mean a girl has to draw the line somewhere doesn’t she.??  Rule…….#1.  Don’t date a guy who looks like a serial killer.  #2.  Don’t date anybody prettier than you.  (he may take longer than you to get ready.)  Plus I am not a foo-foo kind of girl.  I am really low maintenance so why would I want to date a guy who foo-foo’s??  Most days I dont even wear make up……..  not that saying that I don’t NEED makeup……I just don’t normally wear any. 
       Oh well……….I guess the right one will come along one of these days……..I may have to crack him in the head with a sledge hammer to get him to stay, but hey……..whatever works!  Right ladies?  ;o) 
Till next time America…….
Laura  =0)

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It’s reported  to have been listed in The
Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a  
very good-looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods,  
riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter  
nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of  
your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing  
only what nature gave me.
Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Daisy, I’ll be
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black
Labrador retriever.
(Men are so easy)


I want some tools……. When I tell people that, they always laugh.  Why is that so funny?  Hell, when I asked for a power screwdriver last year for Christmas I got a vegetable steamer.  Power screwdriver, vegetable steamer…..they do not even sound alike, LET ALONE, they are not even in the same isle at Wal-mart so how does one get them confused?   Not to sound unappreciative because I like steamed veggies as much as the next person, but I WANT SOME FREEKIN TOOLS.  I mean I just bought a big house, I own two cars……shouldn’t I own more tools than will fit in the little drawer next to the refrigerator?   (That same drawer Devon routinely raids, to steal my skanky little tools to take apart his skateboard.)  Wheels on, wheels off…….woo wee…(as I roll my eyes and shake my head….) How much work can someone do to a skateboard?


Speaking of the refrigerator….I got up this morning and decided coffee sounded good because a cool Autumn breeze had settled over my house (I was freezing my ass off when I woke up this morning) so I decided coffee sounded great.  Now mind you, I am not a big coffee drinker (like my friend Tina who drinks an entire pot each morning by herself) but I am good for one cup a day, maybe two.  (I know, I am a coffee lightweight)  Anyhow, I love that liquid French Vanilla creamer you can buy……I am addicted to it I guess would be the proper categorization.    Sooooo, my coffee is now finished brewing, I find the favorite cup (that says “Boys are toys”…that I bought for Sierah, but I always use), pour my coffee, look in the frig for my creamer…….and you guessed it.  No freekin creamer.  Gone, zip, nothing….nada.  I am crushed.  I will have to use that old dry powder creamer (as I turn my French vanilla nose up in the air) and sugar.  Poo!  I guess not all’s lost because while searching for the creamer I spotted the mushrooms that I bought the other day at the store thinking a really cheesy mushroom omelet would be good on a morning I got up early enough to make it.  Today is THE day…….a cheesy mushroom omelet sort of day!!  I pull out the mushrooms, grab the eggs and milk and wait…..the cheese…where is it?….cant find it….open every little compartment my frig holds, looking for the cheese.  I’m thinking to myself, not only did I buy shredded mexi-blend cheese; I bought a block of mild cheddar and a big block of Velveeta.  ~NO CHEESE TO BE FOUND~ I am now standing in front of my frig, door hanging wide open, scowl on my face secretly plotting how I can boobie trap my frig, lock it up, put it on a timer…something….anything……what  can I do????  Those darn kids…..No cheese…..I mean they had to of eaten enough cheese in the coarse of about 3 days that none of them will shit for a week.      Well, there is one consolation, maybe it will give them gas…(see how that goes over all day at school)……=)~  I think the next time I go to the store I’ll buy 6 boxes of cereal and no freekin’ milk.



For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here’s an update for you.  Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage.  Why?  Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig……….just to get a little sausage.     
I say…..Amen!   Have a good one!
xoxo L

Lets see…Yesterday was the first day of school for the kids.  Acacia and Taryn going to High School made me feel incredibly old.  (Even older than the alarming rate of gray hair that is invading my cranium.) 


Over the summer I enjoyed quiet mornings while I slowly got ready for work, leisurely taking an early shower, reading the paper on the front porch, watched the news, drinking my coffee while the house is calm……errrrrrrt!  STOP!  Slam on the brakes and BAM!!! ~ the first day of school~  My house goes from being tranquil and serene to a train wreck, no a WWF match ~~ well something loud and chaotic….Let me tell you, there is total commotion, shouting, running around, arguments over hair gel, lip gloss and underwear, girls upstairs quickly clicking along in high heals between the bathroom and their bedrooms, (someone shouts “Who took my CD?” while Jenna screams “Mommmmm! I need $3 for Art class,  Sierah shouts down the stairs, “Oh Mom, do we have any latex gloves because we have to dissect a lambs eye ball today!”) Trying to finding matching accessories is always a major dilemma and usually involves some one rooting thru MY jewelry box.  Then there is Devon and I, sitting there at the kitchen table looking at each other…..Me in my standard polo and khakis and Devon in his standard jeans and wrinkled shirt.  (As I say to Devon, “Let me iron that shirt for ya,” and he looks down at himself, runs his hand from the top to the bottom of his shirt and says, “It’s not wrinkled.”) 


I smile to myself as I secretly laugh thinking about Sierah dissecting a lambs eyeball……she also informed me that they would need to take an extra shirt in case anything “squirted out on them”.  (that’s a classic….I would pay to see her face while doing it.)


Moving on ~~ I emailed my ex brother in law Mario (I call him my little bro) yesterday and was able to see his brother Monte’ this week.  Despite being divorced from their brother for about 13 years I still consider them my family.  Monte’ looks strangely almost exactly like my ex-husband and is the free spirit of the family.   He just came back from Honduras and will be moving to Hawaii for 6 months to work on helicopters. Lucky him!  (Monte’ was with me while I was in labor for Sierah…..we were watching this horrible old Godzilla movie.  You know those really old black and white ones where Godzilla would always come screeching out of the ocean somewhere to fight the giant lobster (or cockroach or whatever)…. Every time I would have a contraction he would jump up and say, “Is it time?” Shit!  Time to change the station….ugh….but I love him to death and when I recanted that story to him this week he just laughed and said, “I don’t remember that” (sigh…Men)……… Mario also lives way too far away, in Arizona.  He is strikingly handsome (at least all the women I know think so) and extremely charismatic.  He has a way with people in general.  One of those people destine to be famous, been on some talk shows, MTV, small part in the movie Jerry McGuire (sp?), and told Sierah last week he was going to try out for fear factor.  OH buddy ~~ I cant wait to see what nasty stuff they come up with for him to eat.  I am going to die laughing at home.  On the real though, you better win big head!  I need some money!


I’m doing apartment inspections today and that is always interesting.  It makes my day go by fast, but all of those different smells in different apartments….eww.  It just makes my tummy rumbly…….speaking of that, I wonder if Sierah has been squirted with eye ball juice yet!  Ha! Ha!  That’s classic, I cant wait to hear about this tonight…. 


Wish me luck,


Banana 101


Containing three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy. Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.

But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.


Forget the pills — eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.

Blood Pressure:

This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect way to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.

Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.


High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.


Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites:

Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight and at work:

Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control:

Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.


Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body’s water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.


According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine," eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!

So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"