An Amish guy

The strangest thing….

 

I had an Amish guy in my house today. 

 

How random is that? 

 

Amish people are everywhere in my part of the country so it’s not like I never see them, but I guess I generally don’t see them so up close and personal…. and definitely not in my house. 

 

I have got to admit that I have always been fascinated by the Amish, how they live, the fact they live without electricity and most of the daily stuff that we take for granted…….still driving around horse and buggies…almost like a moving image from our past…..there is something about them that is so fascinating to me. 

 

Our culture keeps moving ahead at record pace and the Amish still keep doing what they have done for centuries.  I cant imagine what it is like to live their life…….I worked on the horse farm with Amish men and woman and the women are some of the hardest working people I have ever worked with.  The men are often the best craftsmen…..the women just never stop working…..even young girls…….cooking, cleaning, sweating to beat heck draped in all of those clothes….and they never stop.  Work, work, work.

 

In my neck of the woods, the Amish are the BEST contractors and laborers you can hire.  They build the best furniture and I know this one Amish dude who makes the most beautiful leather dog collars.  I have always admired people who work with their hands, so maybe that is part of my fascination…..I don’t know for sure……but they do interest me.

 

It is uncommon for me to see Amish people in my daily life here in Indiana but I would say its considered normal to head outside of town and see horses attached to hitching posts at the stores and being careful to slow down to pass the buggies as they slowly move down the roads……..but it is NOT every day I have an Amish guy in my house.  (A kind of cute one to boot.)

 

John (the Amish guy) and his partner (a black dude) came to my house to give me a bid on some contractual work.  We had to walk my entire house from basement to attic and discuss what they other contractor had done wrong and how it should be done…correctly.  The entire time the Amish guy is making great conversation with me, asking me about the dogs, the house, all sorts of other random stuff……it really surprised me.  He even spoke without the accent that most of the Amish have here……not sure what type of accent it would be considered, but maybe it is something similar to a Dutch type accent…..Not John…He spoke perfectly clear to me….no noticeable accent.

 

Then when we were finished and ready to head upstairs, the Amish guy says…… “Were outta here”……. like a…..well….a “brotha.”

 

I couldn’t help but laugh……..it was the strangest thing……there we all stood, an old black guy, a middle aged white woman and a young Amish guy……and the Amish guy spouts off “Were outta here” in a way that Chris Tucker would say it.  It was the funniest thing and a perfectly random way to end a perfectly random meeting……

 

Sounds like the beginning to a bad joke doesn’t it?…….Hey….Did ya hear the one about the Black dude, the white lady and the Amish guy?……bla bla bla.

 

Lol

 

Only me….Oy.

 

Laura

9 to 5

I was on a few poor housekeeping inspections today with my buddy Tricia and you know what is just so nasty to me??……..When you leave someone’s house, that you have been in for a short period of time…then you SMELL like the house, cigarettes, fried chicken, garlic, trash……..whatever the smell is in their apartment, it is now stuck on you once you exit the apartment. 

 

There is NO getting the smell off till you get home and shower…….so if you do inspections mid day, you have this lingering smell the rest of the day.  It is just so nasty.  Heaven forbid you actually have somewhere to go after work…..you might as well forget it.  No going anywhere without a shower…. you stink.  Period.

 

One guy that we entered his apartment, and it is STILL nasty after my repeat visits…….didn’t seem to comprehend that he needed to keep the apartment clean for more than just the normal inspections.  (twice a year)  He was amazed that we actually wanted him to KEEP it clean all the time.  I mean; he was in total disbelief.  He says…“What do you want me to do….. Clean?”  ….(Imagine that.)

 

The other guy was in his car when we arrived.  Once we entered the apartment, he cut butt.  He drove off down the street somewhere and turned ghost…..guess he didn’t want to hear my lecture about his cigarette butts all over the house and the open bags of trash just piled up in the kitchen again…….the guy puts cigarette butts out on top of the TV. 

 

I mean, who does that?…..

 

He puts them out just anywhere…it is so bizarre….his entire apartment is a straight fire hazard and I am writing him up as such first thing in the morning. 

 

The last time I was there he had an entire large coffee can filled with cigarette butts and multiple bags of trash open in the kitchen……I made him throw it all out while I stood there.  He didn’t understand all the fuss.  I remember him walking out the door shaking his head in disbelief…..(I mean, you are a grown man and some woman who works at your apartment complex has to show up and tell you to take out 6 bags of trash from your apartment that are stinking to high heaven……)  Come on.

 

I worked an hour over this morning and a half hour over this afternoon……I was exhausted and was more than ready to come home…(and shower)…I downloaded about half of the photos that were taken today and called it a day.  I left without getting the notices out.  I guess that can wait for tomorrow.

 

 

KIDS

 

Sierah did really well on her SAT’s.  I can’t remember the score, but I do remember the part that said she scored higher than 56% of graduating seniors.  (Not bad for a Junior.)

 

Taryn won her tennis match tonight and scored most of the points…….Good job baby…..I’m sorry, but tennis is so boring……I’ll be glad when basketball starts back up again.

 

Oh, and Devon……. at dinner he announced his new career choice that he has chosen for when he grows up…..

 

* Drum roll please * 

 

He wants to be ”A hustler.”  I think his exact statement was, “I’m going to go to college for about two years, then when it gets too hard… I’m going to drop out and become a hustler.” 

 

(Last week he wanted to join the Army and marry a Chinese lady.)

 

Cant wait to see what next week brings…….

 

Kids….Oy!

Me.

The morning news

Yesterday morning while I was sipping my morning coffee and watching the news I caught a sound clip of a downtown beating that left one person in critical condition.  I was half way paying attention to the television until I looked up and noticed MY house on the news, surrounded by police tape.  "Hey, that’s OUR house…. on the news!…………(*shouts upstairs) SIERAHhhhhhhhh, do you have your TV on?  Our house is on the freekin news!!" 

 

Talk about surreal, it was one of the strangest things ever, I jumped straight up and ran out the front door to do a quick inspection for the yellow police tape…..not one bit of it left, no evidence of a struggle, no blood, no broken glass, nothing, nada…..it appeared to be exactly as it had been the day prior… but evidently much had transpired since I went to bed the evening prior.  Talk about strange….How did I miss all that commotion? 

 

Where was I during the near fatal beating directly in front of my house, multiple police arriving, yellow police tape being draped across my house, the news crews showing up?……..(Zzzzzzzzz) where were the kids? (ZzzzZzzzz) where were the faithful watch dogs? (ZZZzzzZZzzzz)  Every last one of us slept thru it…..all of it.  Had I not seen it on the news, I would of had no idea any of it actually happened.  (I guess the sound of my fan really does drown out the noise of the street in front of the house.)  Oy!

 

 

Coffee

 

My bloggers review pack of coffee arrived fresh from Boca Java yesterday.  Poor Acacia was home sick but thank goodness she was here to sign for my package of goodies.  I came home, sat on the couch and started talking to her……..I noticed something unusual…….where is that wonderful smell coming from?  It smells like coffee……..Oh, my box is here (woo-hoo)……..I pulled the package apart and inspected a wonderful array of different coffee flavors, a super cool Bloggers mug and hat.  Ive got to admit that opening the box and me squeezing different packages to smell the aroma of the coffee spurred a coffee sniffing frenzy in my front room………the kids and I were going from package to package squeezing and sniffing………"ummmm, this one smells good…..no, this one smells good…….." bla bla bla. ~ They all smelled great, I cant wait to try them. 

 

So tomorrow morning I will be grinding my first Boca Java coffee beans…..I imagine they are going to be wonderful, they smell delicious thru the little hole in the package.

 

Thank you Boca Java!

 

me.

Coffee

I love my morning coffee and it would be accurate to say that if I don’t get my morning coffee I can be rather crabby…..lets just say it messes up my whole day……BUT…..I seldom drink more than 1, maybe 2 cups a day.  Light weight I know…

 

This morning I left the house rather quickly so I didn’t have a chance to turn on my percolator.  (Yes, I use a percolator and not a Mr. Coffee)  This morning I opted for McDonalds for breakfast, along with my meal I got their “New Bold Coffee.”  (I guess rather than the old burnt stuff)……Their coffee always seemed burnt to me….ew.  Anyways….I got back to work, put in all my fixins’ and…..

 

I’m not impressed.

 

But I was impressed the last couple times I got coffee from their competition….Arby’s.  Not sure if they have changed their coffee nationally but I do know locally it may have been changed due to the Starbucks that went in about ½ a mile away.  Not only is the coffee great but they will also put the creamers and sugars in for you, etc.  I was impressed.  Good stuff.

 

WORK

 

Yesterday I received a psychiatric evaluation of a resident that I wished I had never seen.  I am not sure why he signed releases to have it sent to me, but he did.  He may have actually wanted them to sign something getting him out of doing community service…I don’t know..…and they sent me that….. * shutters to think about it…eww…..

 

 

Today Tricia and I will be re-inspecting some poor housekeepers.  Yes it is nasty, but I somehow find it interesting that people can actually live like that.  One lady followed us around two weeks ago telling us basically everything wrong in her apartment was our (the housing authority’s) fault.  She was so nasty that she has a zillion mouse turds on the top of her kitchen counter and didn’t seem to think a thing about it.  The first thing I ask the residents when I come in is, “Do you have any insect or mice infestation?”  I ask this because we use Orkin for any pests and it is free of charge to the residents.  They can have them come as much as they want…….She said she had mice really bad, had roaches but got rid of them.  I said, “Did you call in a work order?”…..She says, “No.”  (Okay, so now we know YOU are the problem.)

 

I go thru the apartments taking photos and telling Tricia what to write (items I note are in need or repair or damaged) and poor Tricia was so flustered by how nasty the ladies apartment was, it seemed she could hardly write.  When I got back to work and was ready to write out my report, look at Tricia’s notes and download my photos…..I had a good laugh at Tricia’s notes.  (In regard to this woman’s housekeeping)  Let’s just say they were honest, but couldn’t be included in my report……

 

A week from today we will be at our most troubled property, along with every Manager and every big wig, all the way up to the Executive Director doing a unit to unit inspection looking for pest infestations……eww.  Looking inside all 150 units.

 

Maybe I can be sick that day.

 

me

red plaid boxer shorts

Yesterday on my way home from my sisters house I happened upon a 5 car accident.  I glanced over and kept driving.  About half a block down the street I see what I suspect was the cause of the accident….. walking down the street….

 

A beautiful blond with big boobs?……NO.

 

A hunched over elderly gentleman, wearing a blond wig, a red beret, a yellow sweater, red plaid boxer shorts, no pants, white stockings and brown orthopedic shoes…..walking at a brisk pace with a cane. 

 

I am relatively certain he was the cause of the accident because he also caused me to turn completely around (being nosey) to give him further inspection…..but I did so without rear ending someone…(thank goodness) and you know what?   He doesn’t even live in my building…..

 

For all the times for me not to have my camera ……hump.

 

 

 

Laura

 

PS.  I love my hair short, but something I had forgotten from when my hair was previously short…….Short hair + hair gel + 6 hours sleep =  crazy morning hair.  (This morning it equaled nothing short of a Mohawk.)…….morning hair pictures will follow….get ready! 

Lunch

I have been busy as all get out at work…….doing someone else’s work……grrr……don’t get me started.

 

 

 

I seen the most random thing at lunch today and it just struck me so weird.  (People are weird.) 

 

I am driving home on lunch down a 4 way street, 2 streets East and 2 streets West.  The car ahead of me nails a guy next to us and takes off his mirror.  The guy who gets the mirror taken off, was sitting still when he got hit…. And is driving a Verizon company car.

 

What’s he do? ….. Nothing. 

 

He just sits there.  She drove about a block, then pulled over, turned around and looked at him really strange……and drove off.

 

What was he doing now?……  Still sitting there in traffic doing nothing while people swerve around his mirror on the ground.

 

How strange is that?  A guy driving a company car, gets his mirror whacked off in traffic and just sits there………La, la, la……

 

People ARE weird.    

 

Maybe he is going to go back to work and act like he knows nothing about it……..who knows.

 

My luck, I’d get to drive the company car NEXT!  ugh.

 

Laura

VSLady strikes again

Random thoughts of the VSLady:

The VSL (vegetable soup lady) has been up to her tricks again. Now she had been throwing random stuff out of her 5^th floor apartment window……these items include, but are not limited to:   cigarettes, cigarette wrappers, cigarette cartons, a wine glass, her mail, a red slipper, a Pepsi can and a flowered saucer…….I cant remember the other stuff….but I had to warn the maintenance guy about walking under there so he doesn’t get clunked on his head.  (He laughed……I was serious.)

Yesterday she (VSLady) stopped me in the hall and told me that she needed a new badge because her badge didn’t work. (We have a secure entry way and the badge pops the security door) She had two badges in her had…….

Me: Which one doesn’t work?.

VSLady:

"Neither one"……(long pause)……."This one works" (and flashes one badge up.)

Me: "So, one badge does work?"

VSLady: "No."

Me

: I thought you said one works.

VSLady

: "No"……….Yeah, this one works."

Me: ………."Well, ok……whatever one works, use that one."

VSLady:

"No"

Me: "Okay, then don’t." (Oy!)

VSLady

: "Can you take my picture for a new badge?" (I was standing with a camera in my hand.)

Me: We don’t need a new picture for a new badge; we can use the same one in the system."

VSLady:

"No"

Me: "Do you want your picture taken?"……..

VSLady

: "Yeah" (So I took her photo just to appease her.)

Me: "Say Cheese!"

VSLady

: "No……..No cheese, I have no teeth." (Not true, she has one or two up front)

Me: "Okay…..Say Swiss cheese!"

VSLady

: "No"………

Me

: "Hey J***e, could you please stop throwing stuff out of your window, I’m scared you might hurt someone."

VSLady: "I didn’t………

Me:  "You didnt?"

VSLady:  ……….."Someone else did that." 

Me:

"Well, I think you are doing it… so please stop."

VSLady: "No"……

 

I seriously think this could have gone on for hours……..the randomness of my job…..never ceases to amaze me.

Laura

 

 

 

 

Big Dumb Kid of the Week Award

As you all know, my building is full of interesting and strangely unique people. Many of whom like to partake in a little extra curricular activities such as drinking and….well……… God only knows what else….I almost shutter to think.

 

This particular guy, “Mr. D” (Mr. Drunk-all-the-darn-time) will have this weeks high honor (cough) bestowed upon him…..he receives the “Big Dumb Kid of the week award”.  I decided he would win this week’s award after our brief conversation in my office this afternoon.

 

It went as follows:

 

Mr. D knocks on my door and I could tell by just looking at him that he was “feeling no pain.” (Past a 6 pack and working on a 12 pack maybe) I pop open my security door and it takes him a moment to gather his drunk self up enough to actually get thru the door (You simply push it to open …it’s not rocket science) He swaggers into my office (smelling like a brewery) and tosses an envelope that he has in his hand, onto my desk and says:

 

Mr. D: “What’s this suppose to be for?” In a snide tone of voice…

 

Me: “What is this for?” I ask …As I glance at the opened envelope and money order inside..

 

Mr. D: “Yeah, what is that? Like he is annoyed by my question and didn’t want to repeat himself.

 

Me: I raise my eyebrows, take a long look at him and say…..“ It would appear to be your rent payment.”

 

Mr. D: “My RENT payment?” ….As he jerks his head backwards like WTF?

 

Me: “Seems you mailed it to yourself.” (Trying not to laugh at Mr. D, who has instantly became Mr.Humble- bumble, whom not only marched into my office with a nasty attitude but now has also made a fool out of himself because now he and I both know he has mailed his rent payment to himself….. instead of to the housing authority…..Can you say duh!)

 

Mr. D “I mailed it to myself?” With one eye squinted halfway shut and his lip curled up…..Like he just cant believe he did that.

 

 

I nod…..and try not to smile.

 

 

** crickets chirp **

 

 

As he stands there swaying back and forth staring at the envelope he had addressed two days before….(Who knows maybe he was searching for something to say to me)……Not sure but he was silent for a long time…I kept working…….

 

In a last ditch effort to try to hang onto some sort of dignity, he throws the other item of mail (a post card for some singles dating Internet site) in his hand onto my desk too and says, “Well, what’s this?”…… 

 

**  eye roll ** 

 

I chuckle to myself and say….”Better ask the mailman on that one Mr. D”…..

 

~ Heh!  Sorry, but that is some funny stuff.~

 

 

Okay……now the icing on the cake for the end of my day. 

 

I have been having my house remodeled now for almost 12 months……not that I am having lots of work done, but the contractors are slower than molasses up hill I swear.  ugh

 

Last night I decided to turn on my new outdoor spigot I had installed and give it its first trial run.  I wanted to fill this giant water thing outside that I had purchased for the dogs….had my new hose and nozzle attached……went to the basement to turn the water onto the outside, I hear water go thru the pipe (It’s working!…good sound) run upstairs see water coming out like it should be (Yes! Great!…I don’t have to haul buckets of water out anymore to water my plants all summer….woo hoo)…….then I notice it……

 

~ STEAM ~……rolling out the end of the hose……….

 

Steam?  I said, “Is that HOT #$%* water?”…….  I couldn’t be……….

 

It WAS!……….grrr.

 

 

My “Big dumb kid” contractor ran hot water to my outdoor spigot. 

 

Ahhhhh!   

 

 

 

There you have it folks……the icing on my cake!  It might take him another 12 months just to get it right…….

 

Laura

The new car…….

TGIF…

They are overloading me again at work…….I have to help out at the other apartment complex again and help another manager do the equivalent of 3 months worth of her work she neglected to do…… in about two or three weeks.

The #1 rule in good management is basically, you don’t punish the people who are doing their job by making them do someone else’s job, without punishing the other person for not doing their job. Something like that…….you get the idea right?…. It happens here a lot. I am always caught up, maybe even working ahead often times and I am always called upon to help get someone else out of a bind. I don’t mind helping, but it does grow old after a while……Maybe it’s time to ask for that raise! Yeah, right.

 

S is for Sucker (me)…

Oh, I did do the exact opposite of what I said I was going to do last week.

 

I bought the kid (Sierah) a car.

I guess none of this darn car shopping went as planned……. I sold my Jeep way quicker than I thought I would so as soon as it was gone, we were down to one car.*** BAM***  Not good with 6 people, all of whom have to be at different places at different times…….

I have been unable to find what I wanted, so I went out last night in search of something else for her….with the money I received from the sell of the Jeep. (So, it was like I didn’t spend that much money really……..just used the Jeep money.)

I went past the guy Rick I know’s car lot at lunch……..driving along, eating my Taco Smell (I mean Bell) and I was going to pull in to talk to him but he had a sign up saying he was at the auction and would return later.

 

He returned alright, with about 3 cars I was interested in…….

 

And ONE that Sierah was really interested in. Of course the nicest, most expensive one out of the 3……but it was also the one I liked so….. We test drove it, checked everything and I decided it was the most dependable and drove perfect…….it would be a good car for her. 

Sierah let out a giant Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh when I told Rick I was going to buy it. She said. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! Really? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!"    Jumping up and down in the parking lot shrieking from pure ~first~car ~bliss……..

…    

 

So needless to say, we returned home last night in two vehicles. I was driving the dorky Mom Van and Sierah was driving a white Intrepid with this huge grin on her face. (Matter of fact she was smiling so big I think her teeth might have dried out.)

 

Happy new car kiddo……I love U.

 

Mom

 

PS…Sorry for the bad photo, it was taken at 6:00AM in the rain…..Oy!

 

Grand Opening

The Grand Opening of our new complex went on yesterday without a hitch.  Well, at least I didn’t fall into the mud or get any muddy goo stuck between my toes…..I did have another problem though.

 

I did grow tired of everyone not only mentioning my new hair cut but also my new “Oprah” bra and the fact I was wearing make up……multiple people asked, “You tryin’ to get you a man?” 

 

Had ONE more freakin person asked me that I would of drop kicked them into next week.    Why is it when a woman does a little something to herself, everyone assumes they are trying to get a man……grr.  NO I AM NOT!  (Okay, so that is technically a lie, but I did not cut my hair for that purpose….gesh.)  I was sick of it being long, that’s why I cut it.  And the bra…it was time for a new one, simple enough…maybe it does more lifting and separating than the old one….Oy!……the makeup, if I don’t wear some I look like a damn man with short hair…….any other questions?

 

Someone please tell me why would 5 women I work with be so interested in my boobs anyhow?  Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.  Ew.

 

Oh and I missed the ribbon cutting ceremony with all of the movers and shakers……I came at the tail end when there was nothing truly interesting going on…..just the mundane task of showing old farts the apartments and then herding them all down to the refreshment table and passing out coffee and cookies.  Old folks love their coffee and cookies……

 

I have got to admit I love old people… I love and respect them maybe more than most, but listening to them talk last night made me convinced of one thing…… lots of them are still incredibly frisky for their age.  You see, in our new apartments are these extra large showers with hand rails and two seats….A seat on each end of the shower…..

 

Not one little old lady…. not two little old ladies, but multiple little old ladies said something similar in regard to the two shower seats when walking into the bathroom…..

 

”Oh look Ethal, two seats…..you can have company when you are in the shower…..hee hee hee”.(Then all 3 little old ladies laugh.)  Of coarse I’m standing there laughing too…….just picturing them having sex is funny enough……3 gray caps, one with a walker and the other two standing there crouched over, holding hands while trying to hold each other up, nobody over 4 ½ feet tall…..I’m sorry, but it WAS too funny and I’m almost sorry to say it was the highlight of my entire evening…..Listening to little old ladies talk about sex…

 

LOL

 

…..I do need to get out more…..

 

me